The people who lift you - Why mentors matter more than we admit

When I look back at my career, and honestly my life, there’s a pattern that becomes clearer with every passing year: I didn’t get here alone. None of us do. Every meaningful step forward, every moment where things “clicked”, every leap in confidence or capability… they all have fingerprints on them. The fingerprints of people who helped, nudged, challenged, encouraged, questioned, and inspired me.

We like to tell the story of growth as if it’s something we achieve purely through our own effort. We love the myth of the self‑made professional. But deep down, we know it isn’t true. We are shaped, continually, by the people who walk with us. And some of the most important among them are our mentors.

Mentors don’t just guide your path, they expand it. A good mentor doesn’t necessarily give you answers. Often, they give you better questions. They help you see possibilities that were invisible to you before. They take the map you thought you were navigating, turn it upside down, and show you new routes you didn’t know existed. I’ve had mentors who changed the way I think. Others changed the way I work. Some changed the way I see myself. And a few changed everything.

Mentors are not always formal roles

Some people imagine mentorship as a structured program: scheduled sessions, defined goals, worksheets and frameworks. Sometimes it is like that. But often, it’s far simpler. A mentor can be:

• the colleague who asks one question that shifts your entire perspective
• the manager who sees potential in you that you haven’t recognised yet
• the peer who challenges your assumptions with kindness and clarity
• the friend who listens without fixing
• the expert who gives you one insight that reorients your thinking

Most of my mentors never introduced themselves with, “I will now be your mentor.” They just showed up at the right moment, consistently, generously, and honestly. Thank you all for being there when I needed you. Mentors accelerate learning in ways nothing else can. You can learn from books, courses, YouTube, certifications, frameworks, articles, and endless scrolling. But mentors? They give you something those things rarely do: context. nuance. experience. humanity. They help you understand how to think, how to decide, how to navigate difficulty. They model the behaviour that theory cannot teach. They also help you notice your blind spots, the things you don’t know you don’t know. Sometimes that’s uncomfortable. But it’s always invaluable.

Sometimes mentors believe in you before you believe in yourself. I’ve had people in my life who gave me opportunities I didn’t think I was ready for. Who pushed me into roles that scared me. Who trusted me with responsibility before I trusted myself. That kind of belief is transformative. There is nothing quite like having someone look at you and say, “You can do more than this. I see it.” You grow into that belief. You start acting like the person they think you can become. And eventually, sometimes suddenly, you realise you are that person.

Mentorship is not a one‑way street

One of the most beautiful things is that, over time, the roles start to blur. The people who mentored me have, at different moments, also learned from me. And I’ve found myself mentoring others almost accidentally, simply by being the person they needed at that moment.

That’s how learning moves That’s how knowledge evolves That’s how communities grow

Mentorship is not a ladder. It’s a web, a network of support, influence, conversations, observations, stories and moments that lift all of us. If you’ve had many mentors, you’ve been fortunate and you carry a responsibility. I have been lucky. Truly lucky. I’ve had many mentors across roles, projects, companies, countries, and chapters of life. And the older I get, the more I feel the responsibility that comes with that luck. Because every time someone helps you grow, they’re planting seeds. And one day, you become the person who can pass that forward, not by being perfect, but by being present.

Mentoring

Mentoring can be simple. You do it by:

• listening
• guiding without controlling
• challenging without breaking
• encouraging without falseness
• sharing without ego

It’s not about being an expert. It’s about being useful. The most generous thing we can do is help someone else rise. We underestimate the impact of a single conversation. A single moment of clarity. A single vote of confidence. A single nudge in the right direction. Most mentors don’t realise how profoundly they help. They’re just being themselves, thoughtful, curious, honest, caring. That’s the magic of it. And one day, when someone thanks you for helping them, you might finally realise you’ve become what you once needed.

Find people who lift you. Be someone who lifts others

If you’ve had mentors in your life, take a moment to appreciate them. Maybe even thank them. And then slowly, intentionally, become that kind of person for someone else. Success isn’t built alone. Growth isn’t achieved alone. Quality, in people, in software, in teams is always co‑created. If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: mentors don’t just help you grow. They help you become who you were always capable of being.

My mentors over the years… With the risk (or probably the fact) that I will forget some. I am trully grateful for the conversations we’ve had, the knowledge we shared, the experiments we did, the books you’ve recommened, the feedback you gave me, the simple knott I needed to continue. Thank you for being there.

My mentors list:

A
—
Aaron Hodder
Abby Bangser
Adam White
Adrian Canlon
Ajay Balamurugadas
Alan Page
Alan Richardson
Alessandra Moreira
Alex Schladebeck
Amanda van der Meeren
Andrea Schoonheim
Anko Tijman
Anne Colder
Anne-Marie Charrett
Angie Jones
Angela van Son
Anna Royzman
Ard Kramer
Arjen Verweij
Ash Hynie Coleman
Ashley Hunsberger
Ash Winter
Aty Boers

B
—
Bart Bouwers
Bart Broekman
Bart Knaack
Bas Dijkstra
Bas Hammendorp
Ben Kelly
Ben Simo
Ben ter Horst
Beren van Daele
Bernd Beersma
Bill Matthews
Bob van der Burgt
Boyd Kronenberg
Bram van den Berg

C
—
Carlo van der Ven
Carsten Feilberg
Chris Armstrong
Chris Noordam
Christin Wiedemann
Christina Davidian
Clema van Beurden
Cirilo Wortel

D
—
Daan van Osch
Damian Synadinos
Dan Ashby
Daniel Wiersma
Dawn Hayes
David Evans
Dennis Janssen
Denny van Kleef
Derk-Jan de Grood
Dimitri Fioole
Duncan Nisbet
Dwayne Green

E
—
Eddy Bruin
Eelco Gravendeel
Ed van Rijckevorsel
Elisabeth Hendrickson
Elizabeth Zagroba
Eric Jacobson
Eric Proegler
Eric Schipper
Erik Boelen
Erik Brickarp
Esther Derby
Ewald Wassink

F
—
Fiona Charles
Floor Goedemondt
Frits Bezemer

G
—
Geert Haen
Geert Peeters
Geoffrey van der Tas
George Dinwiddie
Gerard Drijfhout
Gerben Braakmanv
Gertjan Slappendel
Giebert Schoone
Gojko Adzic
Grace Saija
Griffin Jones

H
—
Hayo de Vries
Helena Jeret-Mae
Henrik Andersson
Henrik Emilsson

I
—
Iain McCowatt
IJsbrand Kaper
Ilari Henrik Aegerter
Ine ter Horst
Iris Pinkster
Ivo van de Heijden

J
—
Jackie Frank
Jacco de Weerdt
Jacob Kleerekoper
James Bach
Jan Jaap Cannegieter
Jan Karel Sindorff
Jan Sleutjes
Janet Gregory
Janna Loeffler
Jan-Willem Ooms
Jean-Paul Varwijk
Jeanne Hofmans
Jeff Nadelman
Jeroen Rosink
Jeroen Smoorenburg
Jerry Weinberg
João Proença
Joep Schuurkes
Johan Ebbers
Johan Vink
Johanna Rothman
John Stevenson
Jon Bach
Joost vd Bovenkamp
Joost Voskuil
Joris Meerts
Jose Diaz
Jurian vd Laar

K
—
Karen Nicole Johnson
Karin Guldemond
Katrina Clokie
Kees Blokland
Keith Klain
Kimo Wesseling
Kristel van Kollenburg
Kristofffer Nordstrom

L
—
Lalitkumar Bhamare
Laura Bronkhorst
Lee Hawkins
Leo van Walen
Leon Bosma
Leonie Bezuijen
Leonard Trimp
Lilian Nijboer
Linda de Zwart
Lisa Crispin
Lisi Hocke
Liz Keogh
Lynn McKee

M
—
Maaike Brinkhof
Maaret Pyhäjärvi
Manon Marcelis-Penning
Marcel Berlo
Marco Jansen van Doorn
Marco van Harn
Maria Kedemo
Marius Francu
Marit Meulendijks
Marjana Shammi
Mark Tomlinson
Mark Winteringham
Markus Gartner
Martijn Boonstra
Martijn Ruff
Martijn vd Haterd
Martin Hynie
Martin Jansson
Martin Pol
Marlous Joosten
Matt Heusser
Meike Mertsch
Merel Bezuijen
Michael Bolton
Michael Kelly
Michael Larsen
Michiel Kraaij
Mike Lyles
Mike Talks

N

Nanette Aarts
Nancy Kelln
Neil Thompson
Niels Maaswinkel
Nicole Errante

O

Onno Verdonk

P

Pascal Dufour
Paul Buskermolen
Paul Gerard
Paul Grizzaffi
Paul Holland
Peggy Hoogendoorn
Pekka Marjamaki
Pete Walen
Peter Aarts
Peter Paul Ooms
Peter Schrier
Peter Schrijver
Peter Spelbos
Petri Hoek
Pieter Bakker
Pieter Bas van den Berg
Pieter Withaar
Philip Hoeben
Philip-Jan Bosch
Prapeed Soundararajan

R

Ralph van Roosmalen
Ray Oei
René Hoven
Richard Bradshaw
Richard Deuzeman
Richard Scholtes
Rien Krol
Rik Marselis
Rikard Edgren
Rob Meaney
Rob Sabourin
Rob Schoots
Rob Soethoudt
Rob van Steenbergen
Roelant Schoots
Rozemarijn Vollebregt
Rutger van Faasen
Ruud Cox
Ruud Teunissen

S

Sabine Scheepstra
Sami Söderblom
Santhosh Tuppad
Sander Ulrich
Sandro Ibig
Sandor Penninga
Santhosh Tuppad
Sanne Visser
Scott Barber
Selena Delesie
Sigge Birgisson
Simon Knight
Sophie Küster
Steve Green
Steven Smith
Suzanne Kraaij

T

Tanja Vos
Theo van Rijn
Timothy Algera
Tinus Vellekoop
Tony Bruce
Trish Khoo

U

Uwe Gelfert

V

Vernon Richards
Vincent Wijnen

W

Walter Kraan
Wayne Roseberry
Wim Heemskerk
Wouter Ruigrok

Z

Zeger van Hese